86-year Old Lady's Letter to Bank

[robby3333]

SURELY WE ALL CAN APPRECIATE THIS CAUSE WE'VE BEEN THERE..



86-year Old Lady's Letter to Bank


Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an
86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing

enough to have it published in the New York Times.


Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.
By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.
I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further.
When you call me, press buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH

#1. To make an appointment to see me.

#2. To query a missing payment.

#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.


#4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

#6.. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.

#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.

#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?
Your Humble Client



(Remember: This was written by an 86 year old woman -'YA JUST GOTTA LOVE " US SENIORS" !!!!!)

And remember: Don't make old People mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to set us off.

[samson]

If this is indeed a real situation I am at this lady`s service------she is my new heroine.

[greenweed]

its a bank for ya!! ours charge now(10%) to turn in change!!all the banks were i am at is doing this.dont see were thy get the right to do this! anything to get money out of you!!!! my grandfather tought me a good one if you pay off a debt and thy peed you off you owe $121.03 send them a check or money order for $123.03 then thy have to send you the difference of $2.00(over payment) take the check rip it up put it in the trash! did you know thy have to send you a check EVERY YEAR FOR 7 YEARS TILL YOU CASH THE CHECK or the 7 years is up? it has to be more then .99 #1 i messes with there books at tax time #2 the cost of every check thy have to wright. then #3 the cost of sending it too you hope you like that one!!!

[samson]

OH OH----------weed !!! We must have had the same daddy !! My dad taught me that too, years ago. And it works like a charm---it drives them nuts. Paybacks are a biatch---us consumers may not be so helpless after all. Thanx for the memory weed.

[greenweed]

your welcome bro if you get 1000 people doing this to ONE BANK OUCHHHHHHH THAT WILL HURT!!!! and yes it drives them NUTS!!!! i had one bank call me at home and ask me to PLEASE cash that check. i told him it wasn't for that much so i WASN'T that worried about it!!! i told him to look at it as a tip for the fine job there bank did i was dumb about it glad you liked that one bro I DID TOO!! huuuummmmm im planting seeds in heads again!!AND THE PAYBACK KEEPS GOING ON HE HE HE HE HE HE HE

[samson]

Only thing we can never beat old friend-------apathy of our brothers. We, the consumer, it seems have been beaten to a pulp and these banks, insurance companies, etc etc are the bottom feeders that live off our apathy----------and it`s our own fault. We put our countries in this mess they are in by our complacency. We are the ones that allow our politicians and CEOs to run rampant among us passing laws and enacting policies that benefit them, not us. Bless this old lady.

[flagator007]

The truth hurts !
I myself do not us banks anymore and it is not due to lack of funds I us my wife account if I need a bank!
This lady hit the nail on the head God Bless her!

[greenweed]

no banks here ALL CASH and money orders lol dont even have a check book! do have a greendot card for online shopping!! no credit cards AT ALL NOT ONEhad all that when i bought my home then got rid of it all!!! thats what sux thy MAKE you have this stuff at one time in your life its being able to get rid of it latter! god bless this lady!!! I CANT STAND BANKS!!!

[samson]

Originally Posted by greenweed

no banks here ALL CASH and money orders lol dont even have a check book! do have a greendot card for online shopping!! no credit cards AT ALL NOT ONEhad all that when i bought my home then got rid of it all!!! thats what sux thy MAKE you have this stuff at one time in your life its being able to get rid of it latter! god bless this lady!!! I CANT STAND BANKS!!!

Truer words were never spoken "they MAKE you have this stuff early in your life" and it takes most people a lifetime to get rid of it !! A great quote weed---I`m gonna borrow it sometime or other. Banks I can deal with---we all know how I feel re insurance companies and the legalized scam they run, speaking of "making you have".

[greenweed]

VERY TRUE!!!!! insurance companies are even worse!! don't even start this bro my blood presser is ALREADY going up just seeing the I word!! i myself think we do need some kind of reform!! across the board NOT JUST med!! he he he lets sick the ol lady on them!!