NFL Week Five power rankings

[robby3333]

1. New York Giants (5-0) (Last week: 1). The New York Sentinels would have given the Giants a better game.

2. Indianapolis Colts (5-0) (Last week: 2). We'd hate to see how badly the Colts would have beaten the Titans if Tennessee hadn't been desperate for a win.

3. Minnesota Vikings (5-0) (Last week: 3). Lost in the Lord Favre hoopla is the fact that the defense is giving up too many yards.

4. New Orleans Saints (4-0) (Last week: 4). The Superdome will be a rockin' when the Giants come a knockin'. (Yeah, I try to use it once every couple weeks. Because I truly am as cool as the other side of the pillow. And ridonkulous.)

5. Cincinnati Bengals (4-1) (Last week: 8). The Bengals haven't been this high since Chris Henry hid his stash in the team salad bar. Allegedly.

6. Chicago Bears (3-1) (Last week: 7). It's a good thing they got rid of Cedric Benson and Kyle Orton. Those guys really suck.

7. Pittsburgh Steelers (3-2) (Last week: 9). The Steelers could be the first team to win the Super Bowl and then promptly fire their offensive coordinator.

8. Denver Broncos (5-0) (Last week: 15). Those uniforms born in the days of black-and-white televisions apparently were designed by someone who was color blind.

9. Atlanta Falcons (3-1) (Last week: 10). After a sluggish loss to the Patriots and a bye week, everyone seemed to forget about the Falcons. We won't be forgetting about them moving forward.

10. Philadelphia Eagles (3-1) (Last week: 14). After years of Philly fans begging for a veteran receiver not named T.O., the Eagles found two pretty good ones in back-to-back drafts.

11. New England Patriots (3-2) (Last week: 5). We've got a feeling the Patriots will get another crack at the Broncos. The question is whether they really want one.

12. Baltimore Ravens (3-2) (Last week: 6). With a trip to Minnesota on tap, the Ravens could be staring at a 3-3 record at the bye.

13. New York Jets (3-2) (Last week: 11). If the Jets lose to Buffalo, Rex Ryan might explode like Mr. Creosote.

14. San Diego Chargers (2-2) (Last week: 13). Best evidence that the Chargers are mired in a boring season? Last week's back-and-forth between A.J. Smith and Shawne Merriman was theor most exciting moment of the year.

15. San Francisco 49ers (3-2) (Last week: 12). Has there ever been an NFL coach who looks like a genius when his team is winning, and a moron when they're losing?

16. Dallas Cowboys (3-2) (Last week: 16). The 3-2 record suggests "above average." The performance on the field suggests "below average."

17. Green Bay Packers (2-2) (Last week: 17). Mark Tauscher is back. When does Tony Mandarich sign?

18. Miami Dolphins (2-3) (Last week: 20). Like Fragile Frankie Merman, the Dolphins dug a deep hole in the park. But they're not sitting in it -- they're climbing out.

19. Seattle Seahawks (2-3) (Last week: 25). After Owen Schmitt pulled off the old WWF bloody forehead trick, Rex Ryan a/k/a Captain Lou Albano immediately opened trade talks.

20. Arizona Cardinals (2-3) (Last week: 22). In any other division, the Cardinals would have no chance. In the NFC West, they're very much alive.

21. Houston Texans (2-3) (Last week: 19). They showed character by coming back in the second half, but it's still a loss and the window is closing on Gary Kubiak's knuckles.

22. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-3) (Last week: 18). Mike Sims-Walker didn't play after violating the team itinerary. The Seahawks then violated the team in a very different way.

23. Carolina Panthers (1-3) (Last week: 26). John Fox says he hasn't told friends he expects to get fired. Maybe the truth is that friends have told him to expect to be fired.

24. Washington Redskins (2-3) (Last week: 21). Cornerback Carlos Rogers points a finger at owner Daniel Snyder as Vinny Cerrato whispers to the boss, "He's saying, 'We're number one!'"

25. Tennessee Titans (0-5) (Last week: 24). At least they're still the best 0-5 team in league history.

26. Detroit Lions (1-4) (Last week: 27). You know it's a bad year for the bad teams in the NFL when six of them are worse than the Lions.

27. Cleveland Browns (1-4) (Last week: 31). That "win" should still count as a loss.

28. Buffalo Bills (1-4) (Last week: 23). Their game in Toronto might have half the crowd of a UFL game.

29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-5) (Last week: 29). 0-16 isn't as far fetched as it seems.

30. Oakland Raiders (1-4) (Last week: 28). Napa prosecutors will soon drop all charges against Tom Cable under the reasoning that his job is punishment enough.

31. Kansas City Chiefs (0-5) (Last week: 30). They're 2-28 in their last 30 games.

32. St. Louis Rams (0-5) (Last week: 32). With loss No. 16 possibly coming at Jacksonville on Sunday, St. Louis will complete the "Ram Slam."

[samson]

Gonna be a very interesting game in New Orleans this weekend-------I`m calling the Saints in a very close, don`t make a mistake game. One turnover or a bad penalty will decide this game. In my humble opinion the 2 best teams in football--who wants it more? Buy a barrel of stick-em for Reggie`s hands or I don`t see him running much-----out of the back field is another story.

[StreetSurvivor]

Poor Tennessee--The way there playing and with the schedule they have they`ll be lucky to win four games.

[samson]

Originally Posted by StreetSurvivor

Poor Tennessee--The way there playing and with the schedule they have they`ll be lucky to win four games.

That would be 4 more than my Lions won last year and probably 4 more than the Rams will win this year. LOL