10 commandments of marriage

**robby3333** · #1 10-04-2009

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least a 100 grand!

Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said .
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.
That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

BONUS STORY

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin.
The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, 'It really works!'

**Hulkster** · #2 10-04-2009

a very funny read that has some truth

**greenweed** · #3 10-04-2009

what do you mean SOME truth IT IS THE TRUTH been at it for 21 years myself. it will be 22 years this V-day!!!

**samson** · #4 10-04-2009

Good stuff-----thanx-------------------BTW--it`s more like $200,000-------the first $100,000 goes to the lawyer LOL

Good for you weed------------never made it past 10 myself. All the best in case I forget on V-day

**hotblonde** · #5 10-04-2009

Just a few comments on some of these things ...........Number 2 Dont talk in your sleep she will just slap you and tell you to SHUT UP!!!! Talk to her while you are handing her the money!! Number 6 Just let her be the boss and you will live happy!!! Number 7 fall alseep while im talkin get a pillow over your face!!!! LOL Number 8 Most men cant even handle ONE woman!!!!!!! LOL HEHEHE!!! Your life is not finished you just make it hard on yourselfs!!!!!!!! LOLLOLLOLLOL

**samson** · #6 10-04-2009

Talk while you`re handing her money??------------yeah, she`ll be listening LMAO---she`ll agree to anything without hearing a word till your wad is depleted !!

I wouldn`t screw with anyone that carries a "Louisville" in her back pocket. LOL

**greenweed** · #7 10-04-2009

your wrong H.B i could handle more then one!!!

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The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to robby3333 For This Useful Post:
BabyGirl (10-08-2009), greenweed (10-04-2009), hotblonde (10-04-2009), samson (10-04-2009), sundayme (10-04-2009)

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to hotblonde For This Useful Post:
greenweed (10-04-2009), samson (10-04-2009)