http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/ en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:46:59 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/redbar/misc/rss.jpg http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/ http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/maze-game-16044.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:45:13 GMT Go check out this maze game. It is alot of fun. Just make sure that your speaker volume is up high, cause there is some hilarious sound effects that... Go check out this maze game. It is alot of fun. Just make sure that your speaker volume is up high, cause there is some hilarious sound effects that happen after a few rounds. Good luck, and let me know how far you make it through.

hxxp://www.maniacworld.com/maze_game.htm ]]> Light Humor DimeCFH http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/maze-game-16044.html http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/bilingual-15690.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:18:15 GMT A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. “Well,” says the personnel director, “you’ll have to meet some strict requirements. First,... A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI.

“Well,” says the personnel director, “you’ll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute.”

Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute.

“Also,” says the director, “you must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course.”

This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time.

“There’s one last requirement,” the director continues, “you must be bilingual.”

With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, “Meow!” ]]> Light Humor bogus http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/bilingual-15690.html http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/teacher-15688.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:02:14 GMT Teacher: John, name something important that exists today and didn’t exist ten years ago. John: Me! Teacher: Arthur, your composition ‘My Dog’... Teacher: John, name something important that exists today and didn’t exist ten years ago.
John: Me!


Teacher: Arthur, your composition ‘My Dog’ is exactly like your brother’s. Did you copy it?
Simon: No. The dog is just the same.


Teacher: Mary, please tell me where North America is in the map.
Mary: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class , who discovered America?
Class: Mary did! ]]> Light Humor bogus http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/teacher-15688.html http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/what-called-15687.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:56:10 GMT Teacher: Bruno, what is called a person that keeps on talking, even when no one is interested? Bruno: A teacher. Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me... Teacher: Bruno, what is called a person that keeps on talking, even when no one is interested?
Bruno: A teacher.


Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me sincerely, do you pray before each meal?
Simon: No professor, I don’t need to. My mom is a good cooker. ]]> Light Humor bogus http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/what-called-15687.html http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/white-hairs-15686.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:51:30 GMT One day, a little girl, sitting by the kitchen’s table, was watching her mother washing the dishes. Suddenly, she realized her mother had many white... One day, a little girl, sitting by the kitchen’s table, was watching her mother washing the dishes. Suddenly, she realized her mother had many white hairs in the middle of her dark hair. So, she asked:

- Why do you have so many white hairs, mommy?

To which her mother answered:

- Well, because everytime you do something bad, or you make me cry and sad, one of my hairs gets white.

The little girl thought about that for a while, quietly. Then she asked:

- Mommy, why is grandma’s hair ALL white? ]]> Light Humor bogus http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/white-hairs-15686.html http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/two-good-reasons-15685.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:50:06 GMT One early morning, a mother went to her sleeping son to wake him up: - Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school. - But why, mommy? I don’t want... One early morning, a mother went to her sleeping son to wake him up:

- Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.

- But why, mommy? I don’t want to go to school.

- Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.

- One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.

- Oh! That’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.

- Give me two good reasons why I should go to school.

- One, you are fifty two years old. Two, you are the principal of the school ]]> Light Humor bogus http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/two-good-reasons-15685.html http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/take-them-zoo-15684.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:46:22 GMT A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing this, the clerk spots three penguins sitting on the back seat of the car. He... A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing this, the clerk spots three penguins sitting on the back seat of the car. He asks the driver:

- What’s up with the penguins in the back seat?

- I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but I haven’t a clue.

The clerk ponders a bit and then he says:

- You should take them to the zoo.

- Yeah, that’s a good idea.

The man in the car drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

- Hey, they’re still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!

- Oh, I did. – said the driver – And we had a great time. Today, I’m taking them to the beach ]]> Light Humor bogus http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/take-them-zoo-15684.html http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/surchin-15683.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:44:23 GMT Desesperate, the boss takes another look at his watch and, not believing that his employee would arrive on time to provide him with very important... Desesperate, the boss takes another look at his watch and, not believing that his employee would arrive on time to provide him with very important information before a meeting that was about to begin, he called him at his home.

- Hello? – answers a child’s voice, almost whispering.
- Hello, good morning. Look, is your father home?
- Yeah… – the child confirmed, still whispering.
- Can I talk to him?
- No. – said the child, very low.

A bit embarassed, the boss tries to talk to some other adult:

- And your mother? Is she there?
- Yeah.
- Can she talk to me?
- No. She’s busy.
- Is there anyone else?
- Yeah… – whispers the child.
- Who?
- The “polisheman”.

A little surprised, the boss continues:

- Policeman? What is a policeman doing there?
- He’s “tawkin” with daddy, with mommy and with the “firaman”.

Hearing a huge noise on the other side of the phone, the boss asks, scared:

- What’s that noise?!
- It’s the ”licoper”.
- An helicopter?!
- Yeah. They “brawght” a “surch” and “yescue” team.
- Oh, my God! But what is going on in there?! – asks the boss, worried sick.

And the child whispers, with a naughty laugh:

- They are “surchin” for me. ]]> Light Humor bogus http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/surchin-15683.html http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/when-imminent-15370.html Sun, 25 Oct 2009 14:04:33 GMT Of all the different time lines etc we`ve heard re this word lately I thought it may be fun to find out how some of our members interpret it`s... Of all the different time lines etc we`ve heard re this word lately I thought it may be fun to find out how some of our members interpret it`s meaning......so feel free to state just what "imminent" means to you...................

Imminent is when..........You`ve just had a big breakfast of homefries, sausage/bacon, toast and a couple eggs. Then topped it off with a couple cups of coffee and you pick up the Sunday morning newspaper and merrily trot off to................what is imminent. ]]> Light Humor samson http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/when-imminent-15370.html http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/12-ways-get-rid-telemarketer-15349.html Sat, 24 Oct 2009 13:33:15 GMT 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"

*********

2. If you get one of those pushy people who won't shut up, just listen to their sales pitch.

When they try to close the sale, tell them that you'll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, shopping or whatever.

See how long that commission based scum waits for you to get your credit card.

*********

3. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."

When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.

*********

4. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the ABC Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located.

Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.

*********

5. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Julie and I'm with Dodger & Peck Services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"

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6. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Julie!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Julie, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Julie a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

*********

7. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

*********

8. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"

*********

9. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"

*********

10. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating."

Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.

*********

11. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Widget & Associates." You: "Widget & Associates!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?"

Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."

*********

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back.

If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers).

If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Yeah! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)

********* ]]> Light Humor robby3333 http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/12-ways-get-rid-telemarketer-15349.html http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/want-become-mod-15330.html Fri, 23 Oct 2009 18:53:58 GMT I stole this picture of greenweed from another site lol Image: http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/members/dannyzzz-albums-zzz-picture204-mod.jpg I stole this picture of greenweed from another site lol
]]> Light Humor dannyzzz http://www.fta-gods.com/forums/f101/want-become-mod-15330.html